Alright, let’s just get this out of the way: this is mostly an awful, awful film. Orlando Bloom is a great actor, and you would think “weird, self-destructive doctor as played by Bloom” is a shoe-in for a good performance but honestly this entire film just falls flat on its face. The plot is so slow and there is no climax at all. The cast flows nicely together, but the flow is a muddy current that leads nowhere. JK Simmons makes an appearance; Wade Williams makes an appearance; but at no point did anything resembling a coherent storyline make an appearance. Spoilers forthcoming.
So Orlando Bloom is this really bizarre little doctor who’s doing his first residency. He has this ideal in his head that doctors should be respected and drive Porsche’s and just be able to deal with anything. But the nurse’s shit on him and he screws up a patient’s treatment who doesn’t speak any English. Bloom, as Dr. Martin Blake, is annoyingly obsessed with acceptance. He bothers his boss constantly and goes home at the end of the day to his mostly empty apartment. He starts a weird interaction with an orderly and each scene they are in together is forcibly awkward and not at all interesting in any way, shape, or form. Bear with me, it gets worse.
Then Dr. Blake gets a new female patient. She looks sickly and pale, but for some reason he instantly falls in love with her the moment he walks in the room. She has some weird disease. He prescribes her medicine and sends her home. But then the girl’s mother asks him to come for dinner. So he does and meets her aggressive father and somewhat mildly retarded brother (played by Evan Peters, American Horror Story’s Kit Walker). The girl he treated isn’t there, but her bothersome sister is. She takes off her clothes for NO APPARENT REASON and leaves her door open so Orlando Bloom sees her. But he’s obsessed with the sick sister. So he goes to the bathroom and with no explanation whatsoever, switches her medicine with artificial sweetener. Then he steals a very unflattering, horribly unattractive photo of that sick girl he’s obsessed with. At this point, abandon all hope.
The girl is readmitted to the hospital sick again because she was taking Splenda when she should have taken antibiotics. Orlando Bloom is so excited and expresses that excitement by no longer dressing up, but wearing blue scrubs to work. Then he starts pumping all kinds of weird stuff into her IV. Before that, he finds the orderly guy trying to bang a drugged out patient in the supply room. Then the sick girl gets even uglier, but this just makes Orlando Bloom want her even more. So he poisons her some more and switches her blood slides with someone else. His boss and colleagues have no idea what is wrong with her. They hire in a specialist that is there for two scenes and, as far as the movie watcher is concerned, offers no credible purpose for being in the film. But there is a weird scene where Orlando Bloom goes out to the specialist guy’s car and listens to classical music. And they keep showing Bloom eating lunch by himself in the cafeteria, so there’s that. Oh and before I forget, Bloom’s boss in the movie has these impossibly cool glasses that wrap completely around his head but open up at the bridge of his nose. I know, right?!
The girl keeps getting sicker and has to have surgery. She has the surgery and Orlando Bloom kisses her on the lips. Then a black nurse yells at him and he tells his boss that she messed up. But it was really another nice nurse who gets fired because of it. So now Bloom’s character is stuck with a shitty nurse who does not respect him at all (and he hates that). So then the sick girl dies because, ya know, Orlando Bloom has been pumping her full of toxic drugs for the entire movie and never treated her original condition, but forget all that becomes damnit he loves her. He is pretty upset. And the girls dad comes to the hospital and screams. And then Orlando Blooms talks with the shrink and acts standoffish. But the entire cast of the movie is just like, well these things happen people die, so let’s move on with the so-called “plot.”
Then the orderly finds the sick girl’s diary that she conveniently hid under her hospital bed mattress and she wrote all these weird things about Orlando Bloom but we don’t really find out what she wrote. The orderly uses the supposed “bad stuff” to blackmail Dr. Blake into getting him drugs. So first Blake/Bloom gets stomach medicine at a drugstore and paints the pills yellow and gives the orderly those. Then he decides that’s not exciting enough so he just fashions a chemistry set in his kitchen and makes cyanide capsules out of thin air. He gives these to the orderly thinking he’ll take them at home but instead the orderly pops the pills right there in the hospital (Oh my god! Plot twist!). He dies in a dramatic scene that really had the only acting in the entire movie. There’s an investigation during which Orlando Bloom acts 100% guilty, but they just let him go home. He tells everyone that the orderly was a sexist pig and sort of a jerk and all these other personal details but then makes sure everyone knows that he barely even knew the guy so what’s the big deal. Then he breaks into the orderly’s locker and steals the diary because somehow he just had a giant set of janitor keys with that exact locker’s key on it. He reads it and then the cop comes to his house. He leaves the diary on the floor and acts like he has killed everyone who has died thus far, which he has. JK Simmons, the cop picks up on this but then pretty much disappears for the remainder of the movie. Orlando Bloom awkwardly explains that everyone around him keeps dying and he’s sort of having a rough go of it all, but does this while smirking and staring at the bare walls of his apartment.
When Bloom notices he left the bright diary on the white carpet literally two inches from the cop, he panics and tries to flush an entire diary down the toilet. It backs up and floods the bathroom. Then he climbs out the window and walks into the ocean and drowns. But wait, that didn’t really happen he just wishes it did. He really just spaced out on the beach. He climbs back in the window and throws the diary in the trash can, dries up the floor with a towel and throws the towel away as well. Then he tells the cop he’s needed at the hospital and leaves. The entire time he is acting suspicious and guilty but nothing is done about that. Also there’s another cop standing outside his house drinking coffee and talking on a walkie-talkie but that is never explained or introduced as anything meaningful. But it’s okay because Orlando Bloom’s apartment is, like, really nice albeit missing furniture, décor, and a general sense of being lived-in.
The final scene is Orlando Bloom giving a kid a shot and a nurse walks up and says. “Doctor?” and then Orlando Bloom says, “Yes?” and it fades to black and the credits roll. Absolutely nothing is resolved and no explanation is given. I even rewound the movie twice thinking the disc skipped. Nope. Just a really shitty ending to a completely shitty movie. What was the point? What a waste of 90 minutes of my life that I will never get back. Here’s an indication: The Good Doctor’s Wikipedia page says the budget was $6 million, but the film only grossed a little over $5,000. What a pile of cheap shit. Please if you have any desire to not waste your life away watching bad movies, avoid this one like the plague. It is really, truly, honestly one of the most worthless films I have ever had the displeasure of watching. The best part about this movie is the review I just wrote. I’ve seen much worse movies, to be sure. But when you bill Orlando Bloom in the title role playing a doctor, I assume it will be good. That is not the case. If you are even remotely interested, watch the trailer. It sums up everything I said up above and you only have to waste two out of the ninety minutes. Cheers.